Thursday, September 20, 2012
Tori's 5th Birthday
We have moved back to Dothan, Alabama since Tori's birth and death, and a lot of new friends have come into our life over the past year and a half. I don't realize that a lot of them don't know Tori's story, so just last night, someone asked about her, and I caught myself thinking, "Oh, you didn't know?" I then get the blessed opportunity to share her life with them, what all her journey on this earth entailed, and most importantly, give God all the glory and praise for what He's done in my life, my marriage, and my family's life since and because of Victoria Leigh Wilhoit's life!
Josh and I were then talking last night, and I said there used to be a time where I couldn't hold or even look at babies. It was too painful. God has healed my heart of that, and gave me Scarlet Grace since. That in itself is a miracle from God. When you are a mother who just buried her child in a tiny, doll sized casket, you don't ever think at that moment that you will "bounce back" or be able to carry on with life as usual. But, I have. My life is actually far from "the usual" sometimes, it seems. My husband is working 40 hours a week, taking a full load of classes- 17 hours this semester, I homeschool our oldest daughter who is in 1st grade, we now have CO-OP classes on Tuesdays where I help with that, I have a 20 month old that I am raising- and about to enter the potty training stage with in a few, short months, am involved in our church, and the list of hats go on that we tend to wear from day to day, week to week! I am SO happy to be "back among the living," so to speak, and have normalcy in my life 5 years later, when I honestly didn't see how at that time! I try very hard not to take things for granted, for I know where I've been, and it could be a lot worse.
There was a time when I didn't know if my husband and I would make it another day. I can thankfully say by the grace of God we will celebrate our TENTH anniversary next year!!! We have talked some about a vow renewal ceremony, and I think that would be so special, mostly to give awesome praise to God for where He has brought us from and to! If you would have asked me 4.5 years ago after Tori died if I would have thought I would be homeschooling my daughter, have another daughter, and my husband in Bible College, looking towards music ministry and missions in the next 2.5 years, I would have laughed! :) That only makes me so excited to see what God has in store and how I pray that He could use us in the NEXT five years! It's NOTHING about us, but all about Him! He restored my marriage to an even better place than it was before. I can honestly say that I love and am closer to my husband more in the past 5 years than I have been the whole 13 years we've been together! And not just because of the many years that pass, and you get closer as time goes on...but all because of Tori's life!!!
It didn't pain me to share her life with my friend last night who didn't know her story. Josh and I agreed that it gives us such joy to be able to do so, for we never want her forgotten. Don't ever be afraid to ask something about her, for we are an open book, and it is actually very much healing for me to be able to discuss it all with someone. I may tear up, but it's ultimately tears of joy. Again, that is a GOD THING, not a Melissa thing. I wanted to shrivel up in a hole and die 4.5 years ago along with her. But by the grace of God, He sustained Josh and I long enough to get us to the healing point, and made beautiful things from it all.
I want to thank the many people that DID know Tori, and about her life, and what all she/we went through. You saw up close and personal her battle to overcome her prematurity, only to lose it in the end. You heard us talk about what a healthy baby she was at birth, just premature, and the hope we were given from nurses and doctors. You saw our hope squashed, as a team of doctors and nurses told us 6 months later that she was terminal at that point. You held our hands and hugged our necks as we cried. You held us up in prayer daily, as well as our sweet baby girl. I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for that. Some people didn't know how to reach out, for it was not an easy situation I know, but to those who bit the bullet of uncomfortableness, thank you for being there. We were blessed with such a great support system at that time in our lives. We met many people through our hospital stay, and had visits from complete strangers. We have friendships that will last a lifetime because of our 6 months with sweet Tori. I am so incredibly blessed by all of that. God placed each of you in my life for a reason during that difficult season in my life, and I am forever grateful to Him for doing so.
At five years, I recall the day I gave birth to Tori, as I always do when my children have birthdays. I recall how sick I was, and how badly she needed to be delivered. I remember looking at her as they showed her to me, and hearing a little cry that sounded like a kitten crying. She was precious. Tiny, but perfect. Everything was formed just perfectly, just super tiny. She was 1 pound, 9 oz when she was born, and was almost 12 pounds when she died. While so little, Josh could put his wedding band on her arm as a bangle bracelet. :) We actually have molds of her hands and feet at a couple of months old...Josh has said several times if we have a fire, we must get the girls first, and then those molds out! They show all the details of her hands and toes, it's amazing. I am thankful for that reminder of how little she was, but how big God is! He formed her in my womb, He numbered her days, He knew she was fearfully & wonderfully made in His image, and I have SO much peace from all that He has shown me since her birth from His word!
I think at five years, what would she look like? What color would her hair be? What kind of things would she like...what would be her favorite food? What would be her favorite movie? What would be her favorite color? Would she be excited about starting Kindergarten next year? I know her and her sister would be close, Savannah loves Scarlet so much, and I know having a sister closer in age, too, would be wonderful for her! I think where would this birthday party be at? What would the theme be? Who would her friends be? These are all things that run through my mind as a mother to a little girl who should be here...who was NOT "handicapped" when born, just small...who is now praising her Heavenly Father and spending every moment in His presence.
How awesome that must be! That is where the really joyous part of this post comes in! What a reunion that will be! I fully believe I will know and recognize Tori in heaven. She won't be my daughter in heaven, but I will see her again. We will praise our Lord together forever. What else could I ask to do with my daughter on this earth that would top that one day?! It will be worth the wait! Do I wish she was here to celebrate with us today? Of course. A mother always longs for her child, whether you are seperated for a week or a lifetime. If you're not yet a mother, then you probably won't understand fully why these things are so sentimental to me. I haven't found a way to explain it yet, except that a mother's love will never end, no matter what...no matter the time, distance, or years spent apart.
I hope maybe one of my friends in Huntsville will find time today to run by Huntsville Memory Gardens, maybe leave her a flower, and send me a picture. Even though I know her soul is not there, that is where I was last with her, and it thrills my heart to see that spot every time. Again, something I can't fully explain, except that she was my baby, and that was where I laid her to "rest."
Thank you for reading this far if you did, and for honoring her life by doing so. It fills my heart with joy to remember her, share about her, and love her even still. My "bucket list" for things I want to do regarding Tori and her life on future birthdays:
1. Have a drawing/digital picture done of "what she would look like now." You know how the FBI can age missing kids to see what they would look like as they got older. I'd like to have a picture as often as possible to see what she would look like at each possible age. Just something special to me that I've thought about. :)
2. Have a porcelain baby doll made of Tori that could be a keepsake to treasure. I have checked, and it is several hundred dollars or more to have a doll artist make a porcelain doll from a picture of a baby, but I hope to have this done one day. I know the exact picture I want her to look like, for it is the image I have of her most often in my mind. It is amazing how much they can make one look like your picture. To have her to hold like that, may be strange to some, but would be so comforting to me. :)
3. Have another ceremony of some kind to honor her life, whether it be a birthday party or milestone related. We did this at one year, and had several friends and family come and support us in such a beautiful way. We also were able to collect many clothing items and books for babies in the NICU & children in the hospital. I would also like to do something like that again in the future as a need arises. Doing something good because of her life just thrills my heart.
These are just 3 things that I would like to see done to honor Tori's life sometime in my lifetime
. She was such a blessing from God, truly loved by so many, and I was honored to be her mother for such a short 6 months. Until we meet again, baby girl...
Wednesday, July 25, 2012
Chick-Fil-A Conflict
What I am about to share with my friends, I want to say in LOVE...some of you will agree with the stance I am taking, in agreement with Chick-Fil-A, and some of you will strongly disagree because you have friends or family members who are homosexual. Well, I have a family member who is, too. But I can't compromise what God almighty declares marriage as because I have a loved one who feels otherwise.
Scripture clearly defines marriage being between a man and a woman (Gen. 1:27-28, 2:21-25; 1 Cor. 7:2; Heb. 13:4; etc.). Who are we to question Scripture? For the record, I DO NOT HATE homosexuals, for Christ tells us to LOVE others ("A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another, even as I have loved you, that you also love one another. 35 By this all men will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another.” John 13:34-35). I do not love their SIN, though, and their rejection of Scripture and it being 100% infallible and God breathed.
I don't desire to argue about this with anyone, but to caution those who have walked a very gray line on this issue thus far, because one day, we will ALL stand before a Holy God, and we better be prepared for the answer we will give for the things we've said and stood for ("But I tell you that people will have to give account on the day of judgment for every idle word they have spoken." Matt. 12:36). Questioning Scripture and whether or not you agree with God on issues like this because of a friend, will NOT stand on that day, no matter whether you say you believe in God or not (21 “ Not everyone who says to Me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but he who does the will of My Father who is in heaven will enter. 22 Many will say to Me on that day, ‘Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in Your name, and in Your name cast out demons, and in Your name perform many [a]miracles?’ 23 And then I will declare to them, ‘I never knew you; depart from Me, you who practice lawlessness.’ Matt. 7:21-23).
I also write this to encourage professing believers to STEP UP and be BOLD on issues like this. NOT looking for a FIGHT or to prove you're RIGHT, but to prove GOD is right, and stand by what His Word alone says. We are to be a LIGHT in a DARK world, and so being bold for Christ is what we are to do. For many years, I professed that I believed the Word of God to be true, but I didn't daily strive to obey it or walk in the ways that it instructs me to walk. I might as well have been questioning Scripture as a whole just like so many are when it comes to this issue of homosexuality. Yes, I said that. It's all or nothing, friends. You either believe it ALL, base EVERYTHING you say and do by what it says, let it TRANSFORM and CHANGE your LIFE, or you are questioning it.
I want to put this disclaimer out there as I have many times when discussing various things: I have NOT "spiritually arrived," but God HAS been doing a great work in my heart and life, showing me how disobedient I have been, making me truly shameful of the sin I so easily continued to do over and over without giving a second thought to how it displeases my Savior. This is NOT about religion, folks. I can't stand RELIGION. This is about accepting or rejecting the God of the Bible, and you do that by how you live your life. Lipservice is pointless. The finger is pointing at me, too. The Bible says our righteousness is like filthy rags (Isaiah 64:6), for none are righteous, no not one (Rom. 3:10). Because we are heirs of Christ, though, that is if you're a child of God (Rom. 8:17), we will stand before Him one day, pardoned and ready to receive the crown of righteousness of Christ (2 Tim. 4:8). I am SO thankful for the redemption He made possible for a wretched sinner like ME!!! I encourage you to know this same redemption before it's too late...that "one day" I was referring to above, could be any day now...
So I've tried my best to explain to non believers what Scripture says about marriage, and why I take the stance I do. I don't look down on anyone, but instead am burdened for your heart and soul. I care about you, and others who I read comments of on the CFA Appreciation Day site. It hurt me as I read people so easily and boldly declaring that there is no God, that the Bible is a book of fables, and that we as Christians are hate mongers.
To all that I say, one day they will see that God definitely IS real, but then it will be too late. Off subject, but as Josh and I watched a movie this past weekend, and we saw a city in ruins, chaos everywhere, and nothing working as it should, I leaned over and whispered to Josh, "can you imagine that's what it will be like after the Lord comes back?" If you think our society is bad off now, well, I hope you're not around to see it after the Lord has taken believers home.
I also say that it hurts me to see them say that the Bible is a book of fables and stories, not a guide we should be living our life by. They will see, too, that just as the Bible says "Every knee will bow and EVERY tongue will confess that Jesus Christ is Lord (Rom. 14:11)," they WILL believe it then, and they WILL confess it to be true, but again, it will be too late.
Lastly, as I read people saying such awful things to and about Christians, I thought how awful on one hand that they think of us like that, but on the other hand, what a point they have. They accused us of being unloving, condemning, righteouss, pious, critical, and unpeaceful. Yes, all of things we do or have done to give not only Christians, but ultimately CHRIST, a BAD NAME. We have GOT to (myself included!) stop straddling the fence, being hateful to non believers & believers alike but instead LOVE them & lavish grace upon them, live like we are a NEW CREATION, and quit worrying about what other people are going to think if we take a stand for what's right.
I can guess that writing this is not going to make me many new friends, and that's okay. I want to boldly proclaim the truth, and most importantly, point others to Christ. Because I am a flawed human being, who has a sinful heart and must require the blood of Jesus to make me clean, I can only boast in Him, and not of me. Please take this in love, like I asked at the beginning, and yes, join me in supporting ChickFilA on August 1 and eat there to show your support for the public stance they took, but also reevaluate the life you've been living, the things you've been proclaiming, and see if they match up with what God's word says...if unsure, go to someone who can help you and point you to Him. I am here if needed :) Much love to you all! Have a good rest of the week!
Monday, May 28, 2012
Learning from Joseph
I recently started a historical reading plan on my Bible app and just finished up the book of Genesis this morning. I learned two big things from it today, that one, I had never thought of before, and the other is always a challenge I am still trying to do better at with Gods help.
The first that I had never thought of showed me a great example of God's faithfulness in Joseph's life. Most of you may know the story we learned as children, where Joseph was disliked by his brothers because they were jealous of their fathers love for him. They went so far to throw him in a pit, and then sold him into slavery, faking his death to their father. Seperated from his family for what he thought would be forever. He was a good servant, and wrongfully got put into prison. Let me pause in saying, don't you think a lot of us would have wondered if God had left us, and even given up on things after unfairly going through this much already? I don't know,i would hope I would remain faithful as Joseph did, but hopefully you see my point.
So instead of being angry with God, he served well in prison, and the Bible says that God provided for and lifted him up, and put him in control of many things for the warden. So even though he had been sold by his own brothers, became a slave, and now unfairly in prison, he remained faithful to God, and God to him. Then he was with pharoahs cupbearer in prison and interpreted his dream correctly for him. He asked the cupbearer to remember him when he got out of prison in three days and to talk to pharoah on his behalf. However, the cupbearer forgot and the next chapter starts by saying two YEARS went by before he interpreted pharoahs dream for him, and pharoah brought him out of prison and put him in charge of all his things. Not a couple of days, not two weeks, not a few months, but two years later...I dont know about you, but after all he had gone through at this point and then staying in prison two years longer after doing something good for someone, wouldn't you have had just about your fill by now?! It was st that moment when I read "two years" that God pointed out His faithfulness to me, and how He always comes through for "his children who are faithful and obedient to Him." It showed me what little faith I tend to have, and how I have gotten frustrated in times past when I am experiencing something "unfair" or going through something that I am wanting God to answer more quickly on. I think Joseph had it a lot rougher than I ever have, so why do I doubt God and His faithfulness?! Thankful His Word is a book of life and truth, and it reveals things like this to me.
The second thing I mentioned in the beginning that I have thought about from Joseph's situation, but don't always do this...but at the end of genesis how he was in charge of the food during the famine and he didn't have his brothers killed once he knew who they were and came to him for food. He didn't deny them food. He didn't have vengeance with them or repayfor all the terrible things they did to him. And they did a lot worse than ive ever had someone do to me. And yet ive had a difficult time forgiving and loving them anyway. Joseph got to see his father again, and at the end of genesis after his father died, his brothers were worried if Joseph would now repay them for all they did. He was in a high position and could have but the Bible says he showed kindness to them, and their children. What a portrait of God's faithfulness and the love and forgiveness we can give through Him, but otherwise not possible on our own.
Thanking the Lord for His word this morning, and that I have such great access to it, when people on foreign countries have never even seen a copy or heard it before. Some even risk their lives to own a copy of it. I believe we will be more accountable to God as people here in the US who have such great access to His word and the truth, and yet we don't take advantage of the power or study His word, compared to those who haven't had the opportunity to read and hear all we have.
Thursday, March 8, 2012
A Snowy Saturday Morning
A tribute to my baby girl...March 8, 2008...one of the most significant dates that will forever be etched in my mind, with vivid details that I am sure I will relive many times when I think of this day. Much like you may remember where you were and what you were doing on 9/11, and how the rest of that day felt for you. When something tragic happens in our lives, and especially with a death of a child, you just don't forget all the many details more times than not. That is how it is for me on this day. I'd like to share with you her memory, our memory of her, on that day.
I didn't sleep well the night before, and to make a long story short, Tori had been transferred to a larger room where Josh and I could sleep, because the doctors felt she was terminal, and so we planned to stay with her every second until she passed away instead of going back to the Ronald McDonald house. We had hoped on having a few days with her before that time. We had called family and told them to come. They were on their way, and had planned to spend the weekend with her and us. No one made it their in time, though, before she passed away.
I woke up about 5am and went over to her bed, sat there with her, and she was on so much medication because she had gotten very sick, that she wasn't responding to us as much those last few days. I fully believe God woke me early and gave me this morning with her as her mother. As I sat there, she opened her eyes, BRIGHT. The nurse came in, and said I should get in the bed and lay with her while she was awake. I had done that before, but am so glad I did this last, final time. I laid there looking into her eyes, talking to her, rubbing her face & hand, and treasuring this moment. I've heard that before someone dies, often times while in the care of hospice, they will do this...become real alert and wake up, and then suddenly pass away not long after. I woke Josh to come look at her after awhile, and am so glad we had this final time with her. She then closed her eyes, and fell back into a deep sleep. What a precious time with her I will never, ever forget!!!
It was an hour or so later, that her heart rate begin to drop quickly. I panicked, and my heart raced, feeling like it was going to explode, while hers was quickly coming to a stop. The nurses and doctor came in, placed her in my arms, and I rocked her as she passed away. I saw her oxygen saturations and heart rate go to zero on the screen at 6:55 a.m. It all happened so fast. We held her, cried, rocked her, and cried some more. It was just Josh and I there in the early morning, and I look back now and think how fitting.
She had never been outside, except for a brief moment when being transferred from Huntsville to Nashville in an ambulance. So I wanted to go outside with her. It had began SNOWING pretty heavily that morning. I wrapped her up tight in a blanket and we went out on the roof exit with her, not far from her room. I stood there as the snowflakes fell down on my face, and just took it all in. It was very beautiful. I felt like these snowflakes were a little gift from God, a symbol that she was at peace now. I am so glad I had this special moment with her.
We bathed her, dressed her in her white dress that she was buried in, and took molds of her hands and feet, which we treasure so much. You can see the little wrinkles in her skin in the molds. You can see the details of her fingernails. Her little toes are just like if I were looking at them in person. We took LOTS of pictures, and I am so glad we did, because we have them to remember this day with. There is a group, Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep, that will come and take pictures of your baby and you and your family after they pass away. We didn't use them, but I had seen some of their pictures before, and we did some similar to that, like mine and Josh's wedding rings on her toes. I love that picture. After all of that, we said our goodbyes. Even though she was not alive, it was the hardest thing ever to hand over my baby girl for them to take her away, knowing that was the last time at the hospital with her.
We packed up her room that weekend; she had A LOT of blankets, clothes, hairbows, stuffed animals, cards, etc that she had acquired over almost 6 months. She was sick, but she wasn't a "vegetable." I think some people have thought that's what she was, but she was perfectly normal when she was born. When she cried, she sounded like a little cat. She was breathing on her own not long after she was born, at less than 2 pounds. Her lungs were good, although premature. She had NO brain bleeds when she was born, which is common for preemies that small. We had such hope in the beginning with this prognosis. I pumped breastmilk for 4 months, trying to get her tolerate it. We tried several different formulas, but she just never could tolerate the food. Her bowels never obstructed, which is also very common for preemies, but they were just so premature that they couldn't function like they were supposed to. The "artificial food" they had her on is not good for your liver for that long of a time. Her autopsy and several genetic tests revealed no abnormalities in that manner. It confirmed that she had been a healthy baby otherwise than her prematurity and the problems it led to. The cirroshis of her liver (because of the food) and infections were what caused her to deteriorate and pass away. I used to question WHY in this aspect, because I know SO many babies now after our journey in the NICU who were as small as she was, or smaller, and yet thrived and grew. "Why couldn't Tori have done that if she was otherwise healthy," was always my question. I will never understand the WHY, until I reach heaven that is. Until then, I will rest in the peace of knowing that my Redeemer lives, and because of that, I will see her again one day. He came and brought hope for the hopeless because of this, and we all can be thankful for that each day. I give Him all the glory for Tori's life, and what all He showed me during that time, and how He worked after her death as well. While it was the most painful thing I've endured, it was the most memorable thing I have ever experienced as well, and in a good way.
We have said how fitting Victoria was for her name, for we have true VICTORY in Christ. If not, we would have no hope after her death, and I don't know how people make it through something like this without Him. We went through a dark valley afterwards, but He stayed with us, restoring our hearts and lives to an even better state than they were before her life. I'd like to share some pictures of Tori, and what we've done on her "heaven anniversaries" until now. Today I will hold and kiss my two precious girls, remember Tori, and be thankful for what all He's given me in the 3 of them. I am one blessed momma!!!
A father's love...
A mother's love...
A sister's love... (melts my heart; she was only 2 and yet understood more than I thought she would and remembers all this to this day!!!)
Our last picture together as a family of these four...
This is a link to an online folder of some of Tori's pictures:
http://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.10581568707.28854.504728707&type=3&l=bc28162476
We have since collected preemie clothes & blankets for the HH NICU in memory of Tori, all with a note sharing her story. We also had a "books for babies" drive and collected books for children in the hospital and got to deliver them personally and share a little about our baby girl with a note inside. We donated some of the books to Tori's pediatrician in Huntsville with a sticker inside in memory of Tori. So we have been able to give back and share the love of Christ through her life, all with the help of family & friends that knew her and were touched by her life while she was on earth!!! That is awesome!!!
Here are a few pictures of her grave in Huntsville. I used to sit on the bench pictured and stay for quite awhile. It's beautiful and so peaceful there!!!
We have since collected preemie clothes & blankets for the HH NICU in memory of Tori, all with a note sharing her story. We also had a "books for babies" drive and collected books for children in the hospital and got to deliver them personally and share a little about our baby girl with a note inside. We donated some of the books to Tori's pediatrician in Huntsville with a sticker inside in memory of Tori. So we have been able to give back and share the love of Christ through her life, all with the help of family & friends that knew her and were touched by her life while she was on earth!!! That is awesome!!!
Here are a few pictures of her grave in Huntsville. I used to sit on the bench pictured and stay for quite awhile. It's beautiful and so peaceful there!!!
(These were the dresses we wore to Tori's funeral just one year earlier!)
If you made it to the end, thank you for sharing in her life with me today!!! :)
Tuesday, March 6, 2012
Electric Hedge Trimmers
I have been in somewhat of "a funk" (that's the best way I can describe it) off and on lately, and this week being the 4th anniversary of Tori's death is probably a large factor. It's not constant, but when I get in that mindset, Satan really tries to run with it and bring me down!! "Submit yourselves then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you," (James 4:7) is what Josh and I have discussed several times lately!! After all, "If God is for us, who can be against us?" (Romans 8:31) Trying to focus my thoughts on HIM instead of my circumstances!!! That can be difficult to do, but IS possible. "With men this is impossible, but all things are possible with God." (Matt. 19:26)
We found out today that we may have to pay a few thousand dollars out of pocket for a new roof for our house in Huntsville, that we currently have a lease to purchase contract on. We are supposed to close on it no later than January 2013, and I can't wait for that day to get here!!! Being free of this house will be such a relief. God knows that. And us having to pay to put a new roof on a house we will never live in again is not news to Him!!! That is comforting, because otherwise I could stay real frustrated! He's got this, I know that. He cares for the sparrows, and so much more than that for ME (Matt. 6:26). Oh, how he loves me!!
We are trying to be good stewards, pay off things, & live within our means...& hope to take the girls to Disneyworld after all that, something Savannah has been begging for since she was 3 years old. Our plan was to take them spring break of 2013, after we used the equity in our house to pay off things, and then be able to do this for them. It is frustrating to have a roadbump get in your way, though. It's even more frustrating when you're trying so hard, and yet feel like you just can't get ahead..."if it's not one thing, it's another," my flesh says. It would be SO very easy to wallow in this, think poor, pitiful me, & be discouraged. However, I know "God is my refuge and strength, a VERY present help in trouble." (Ps. 46:1) I recently read something along these lines...We don't take advantage of all the power we as Christians have through knowing Him!!! We would live transformed, radical lives if we allowed that power to change us and how we view/handle things!!! I am MORE than a conquerer (Rom 8:37) and want to live like one!!!
I did, however, take out my frustration with our electric hedge trimmers this afternoon, and have a feeling that I am going to be really sore because of it tomorrow. I was SO incredibly frustrated, thinking and talking to God, and thinking some more. I just needed to do something productive. I got home and it was a beautiful afternoon, until I just HAD to be outside for a little while. So, yep, I went to town on the hedges on the side of our house! It was quite therapeutic, let me tell you! :) I've always heard people say that gardening has that affect on you. Well, I don't know about that, but I DO know that taking care of business with some heavy duty hedge trimmers on bushes that haven't been trimmed most all winter, was the best de-stresser I've had in a long time! :)
I analyze things a lot (something Josh has learned to love me through-ha!), and so I thought about how God has to sometimes use "electric, heavy duty, hedge trimmers" on my heart & attitude sometimes. I speak before I think sometimes. I act before I think, too. I can be self centered, not considering others (or even God) first. He has to remind me of these things sometimes, and (lovingly) corrects me when I'm stubborn and just can't get it right. My, at the patience He has!! I am so thankful that He is always several steps ahead of me & I don't have to rely on myself to make it through this life; actually He's already walked the whole way, but just stays with me, holding my hand, waiting patiently on me, while picking me up as I stumble and fall. He is truly all knowing and all powerful!
I don't think I will think the same of electric hedge trimmers anymore. :) I know that this obstacle with our house is just another "fire testing faith method!" He recently provided in our car situation, causing us not to have to pay anything out of pocket, and I know He will provide for this (AND all of our other needs), too. Do you have that hope & assurance? I sure hope so. It is life changing!!
We found out today that we may have to pay a few thousand dollars out of pocket for a new roof for our house in Huntsville, that we currently have a lease to purchase contract on. We are supposed to close on it no later than January 2013, and I can't wait for that day to get here!!! Being free of this house will be such a relief. God knows that. And us having to pay to put a new roof on a house we will never live in again is not news to Him!!! That is comforting, because otherwise I could stay real frustrated! He's got this, I know that. He cares for the sparrows, and so much more than that for ME (Matt. 6:26). Oh, how he loves me!!
We are trying to be good stewards, pay off things, & live within our means...& hope to take the girls to Disneyworld after all that, something Savannah has been begging for since she was 3 years old. Our plan was to take them spring break of 2013, after we used the equity in our house to pay off things, and then be able to do this for them. It is frustrating to have a roadbump get in your way, though. It's even more frustrating when you're trying so hard, and yet feel like you just can't get ahead..."if it's not one thing, it's another," my flesh says. It would be SO very easy to wallow in this, think poor, pitiful me, & be discouraged. However, I know "God is my refuge and strength, a VERY present help in trouble." (Ps. 46:1) I recently read something along these lines...We don't take advantage of all the power we as Christians have through knowing Him!!! We would live transformed, radical lives if we allowed that power to change us and how we view/handle things!!! I am MORE than a conquerer (Rom 8:37) and want to live like one!!!
I did, however, take out my frustration with our electric hedge trimmers this afternoon, and have a feeling that I am going to be really sore because of it tomorrow. I was SO incredibly frustrated, thinking and talking to God, and thinking some more. I just needed to do something productive. I got home and it was a beautiful afternoon, until I just HAD to be outside for a little while. So, yep, I went to town on the hedges on the side of our house! It was quite therapeutic, let me tell you! :) I've always heard people say that gardening has that affect on you. Well, I don't know about that, but I DO know that taking care of business with some heavy duty hedge trimmers on bushes that haven't been trimmed most all winter, was the best de-stresser I've had in a long time! :)
I analyze things a lot (something Josh has learned to love me through-ha!), and so I thought about how God has to sometimes use "electric, heavy duty, hedge trimmers" on my heart & attitude sometimes. I speak before I think sometimes. I act before I think, too. I can be self centered, not considering others (or even God) first. He has to remind me of these things sometimes, and (lovingly) corrects me when I'm stubborn and just can't get it right. My, at the patience He has!! I am so thankful that He is always several steps ahead of me & I don't have to rely on myself to make it through this life; actually He's already walked the whole way, but just stays with me, holding my hand, waiting patiently on me, while picking me up as I stumble and fall. He is truly all knowing and all powerful!
I don't think I will think the same of electric hedge trimmers anymore. :) I know that this obstacle with our house is just another "fire testing faith method!" He recently provided in our car situation, causing us not to have to pay anything out of pocket, and I know He will provide for this (AND all of our other needs), too. Do you have that hope & assurance? I sure hope so. It is life changing!!
Tuesday, February 28, 2012
Not the Most Wonderful Time of the Year...
I was talking with a friend of mine and shared that this time of the year, there is a constant lump in my throat & chest that just remains there for a few weeks leading up to and after my Tori's "Heaven anniversary." This year will be 4 years since that "memorable" day. I just wonder if the lump will ever not return one year, and I won't feel a degree of somberness? I think of and talk about her now, and it's not difficult to do so. I acknowledge and remember her life, and want other people to be able to, too. I have pictures of her around my house, and she is a known, obvious part of our family. That is all healing, but doesn't erase this small time of the year for me. Oh, how I wish it did!!!!!
I have peace and security that because of my faith in Jesus Christ, I will see Victoria Leigh again one day. I will know who she is, and although she won't be my child that I will take care of in Heaven like I would have on earth, I will know she has been there, has not been suffering, and has been free from pain and affliction. She endured physical pain for a few, short months on this earth, but never had to go through all the heartaches and trials my other two will. That is comforting in a way, but as a parent, if you are one, would you ultimately rather have your child here to comfort and love during those difficult times, or would you rather never have had the opportunity? That is the dilemma I am faced with battling at this time of the year especially.
I can tell you without a shadow of a doubt that God had a plan through Tori's life. He knew at conception that she would be born at 28 weeks, although I had thought it would be closer to 40. He knew that she would be 1 pound 9 ounces when she was born, although I thought it might be about 7 pounds, closer to her sister's weights. He knew that she would get sick and stay in the hospital for 6 months, although I had hoped to bring her home from the hospital after TWO days of having a full term baby, and be on the way to celebrating her first birthday at six months....NOT picking out a tiny casket, pink, baby roses, a white dress, songs to be sung at her funeral, buying a cemetery plot for her and us beside her, explaining to her 2 year old sister that her baby sister is in Heaven, buying a black dress for her funeral, and then saying goodbye to her and burying her. WOW, you might say...are all those details neccessary?! Why yes, yes, they are. I will NEVER forget (just like the 9/11 victims' families) that time and all we did, went through, experienced, and felt. Her memory will never fade from my mind and heart. As her mother that God allowed to carry her for 7 months, I will never forget her.
You may say, because I've heard it a THOUSAND+ times from SOOOO many people, "I don't know how you did that; I could never do it." Well, I wasn't really prepared for it, let me just tell you. No one asked me was I willing and able to sacrifice my child whom I loved so much, and never having an earthly relationship with her. I didn't mark "ACCEPT" on any application. I woke up one Sunday morning sick as a dog, after not feeling my best for a week or two, and couldn't stop throwing up. I knew I was dehydrated and needed to go to the hospital for fluids. So we dropped Savannah off at church with my parents, and went on to the hospital. They thought the blood pressure machine was broken when it revealed that my blood pressure was off the charts at almost stroke level, and quickly brought in another machine, another nurse, and soon after a doctor. They all at once told me I had preeclampsia, even HELLP syndrome, and would not be leaving the hospital until I had this baby. Umm, I am 27 weeks...I can't have this baby now?! We just found out it is a GIRL a few short weeks ago, and just got done with her room 2 weeks ago! I will never, ever, ever, ever forget as long as I live looking over at Josh who was sitting in a chair beside my bed and thinking this is not happening. Not to us. So, friends, it is at THAT moment that I "had to do it." What other choice did I have?! None, unfortunately.
The weeks and months to follow, were a roller coaster ride of emotions to say the least. We had good, positive days; we had bad, horrible days. We were by her side as much as physically possible, day in and day out. We would talk to her, hold her, sing to her, change her diaper, bathe her, take her temperature, change her clothes and bedding, put pretty bows in her hair, talk to doctors and nurses on her behalf, I pumped breastmilk for 4 months for her....just sooooo much that I never, ever would have imagined. Only in the end, to lose her. To see life slip from her, into eternity, and hold her while she was taking her last breath. Friends, that was NOT done through my own strength. That was endured because of a supernatural strength only from my faith and hope in Jesus Christ. He held me, loved me, and listened to me when it was hard, so hard. He listened to my grief and sadness about it, and He listened to Josh's anger about it. He would share it with you, too, so I'm not sharing anything we wouldn't with you face to face. I was SO incredibly grief stricken, that I remember not wanting to go on some days. Josh was so incredibly angry because he felt helpless as a father and husband, and couldn't do anything to change it all. The pain was SO great, that I understood with everything in me what God felt when He saw them beat His one and only Son, hang Him on a cross, and watched Him breathe His last breath, just as I had. That love for your child is so great, until I cannot comprehend a parent being willing and able to sacrifice their child's life for so many unthankful, unworthy, horrible, wretched sinners....just like ME. If that doesn't make you feel an URGENT need to have Christ in your everyday life, I don't know what will.
I share all this as "therapy" for me, yes, because I enjoy putting my thoughts on "paper." But I also share it to bring honor and glory to my Lord, Jesus Christ. HE brought me from that dark, gloomy time and changed my selfish heart from what it was before Tori; gave me the opportunity to share Christ & heaven in a real, initmate, up close and personal way with my then 2 year old when otherwise I wouldn't have been able to; restored my marriage from failing and what seemed like doom, giving me a best friend & lover in Josh like I'd never had before; gave me another precious, baby girl that has been the light of my life for the past year; and I'm sure those are just the beginning of what He will do through her life. THOSE things make this time of the year more bearable. I'm not going to lie, and say I haven't or don't sit down and cry sometimes and wonder for a split second 'WHY?' I see all I've had with Scarlet over the past 14 months, and think of what all I missed with Tori. I see babies that are born as early as she was, and yet they thrive and grow, beat the odds, and I think she could have done that, too!
It's tough, I can't say it's not. Losing a child is like nothing I've ever experienced. I've lost friendships I cherished; experienced discord within my church family; endured my parent's divorce; almost had a divorce of my own; moved around throughout my life, leaving friends behind; changed & started new schools; given birth (!!!); and other various "trials." Losing my baby girl tops them all. What does James say about trials, though? "Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything." I want all of these things I mentioned, even losing Tori, to produce perseverance, so that I may be mature and complete, lacking NOTHING! You can only understand that being worth it if you have the power of Christ through the Holy Spirit within you. Because why is that important enough to me to endure these trials? Because it goes on to say in verse 12, "Blessed is the one who perseveres under trial because, having stood the test, that person will receive the crown of life that the Lord has promised to those who love him." THAT'S WHY. He suffered and bled so that I may live. He pardoned my sin so that I could go free. What a Savior!!! THAT definitely makes this time of the year a whole lot easier to endure.
I LOVE Christmas, and think of the song, "the most wonderful time of the year" when I think about it. That is why I call this time of the year, "NOT the most wonderful time of the year." But I hope you've seen through all the detail I shared, for this reason alone, that Christ and my relationship with Him makes it bearable through the "NON most wonderful time of the year." I strongly urge you to know Him so that He can make the difficulties of this life bearable for you, too. And not just bearable, but you can be VICTORIOUS...for we are more than just conquerers with Christ (Rom. 8)! And not just KNOW Him, but love, trust, and walk daily with Him. You can't say you're good friends with and expect someone to be there for you at the drop of a hat in the difficult times that you haven't talked to in 20 years, so how you can expect Christ to be there and help you out when you haven't talked with Him daily for awhile, or much less don't even know Him? No judging, only acceptance, so email me if you want loving guidance on how to have this in your life. You don't have to clean up or be good enough before coming to Him. He wants you just the way you are. It would take away from His glory if you had to straighten up before knowing Him. He can and will take care of you on the inside all on His own! :) By the way, nothing would honor Tori's life more than someone coming to Christ because of it. It would also make this momma happy and add another praise to my book! :) If you do know and have a daily relationship with Him, love Him, thank Him for your husband, children, and many blessings....then go kiss and hug them all real tight!!!!!! :)
I have peace and security that because of my faith in Jesus Christ, I will see Victoria Leigh again one day. I will know who she is, and although she won't be my child that I will take care of in Heaven like I would have on earth, I will know she has been there, has not been suffering, and has been free from pain and affliction. She endured physical pain for a few, short months on this earth, but never had to go through all the heartaches and trials my other two will. That is comforting in a way, but as a parent, if you are one, would you ultimately rather have your child here to comfort and love during those difficult times, or would you rather never have had the opportunity? That is the dilemma I am faced with battling at this time of the year especially.
I can tell you without a shadow of a doubt that God had a plan through Tori's life. He knew at conception that she would be born at 28 weeks, although I had thought it would be closer to 40. He knew that she would be 1 pound 9 ounces when she was born, although I thought it might be about 7 pounds, closer to her sister's weights. He knew that she would get sick and stay in the hospital for 6 months, although I had hoped to bring her home from the hospital after TWO days of having a full term baby, and be on the way to celebrating her first birthday at six months....NOT picking out a tiny casket, pink, baby roses, a white dress, songs to be sung at her funeral, buying a cemetery plot for her and us beside her, explaining to her 2 year old sister that her baby sister is in Heaven, buying a black dress for her funeral, and then saying goodbye to her and burying her. WOW, you might say...are all those details neccessary?! Why yes, yes, they are. I will NEVER forget (just like the 9/11 victims' families) that time and all we did, went through, experienced, and felt. Her memory will never fade from my mind and heart. As her mother that God allowed to carry her for 7 months, I will never forget her.
You may say, because I've heard it a THOUSAND+ times from SOOOO many people, "I don't know how you did that; I could never do it." Well, I wasn't really prepared for it, let me just tell you. No one asked me was I willing and able to sacrifice my child whom I loved so much, and never having an earthly relationship with her. I didn't mark "ACCEPT" on any application. I woke up one Sunday morning sick as a dog, after not feeling my best for a week or two, and couldn't stop throwing up. I knew I was dehydrated and needed to go to the hospital for fluids. So we dropped Savannah off at church with my parents, and went on to the hospital. They thought the blood pressure machine was broken when it revealed that my blood pressure was off the charts at almost stroke level, and quickly brought in another machine, another nurse, and soon after a doctor. They all at once told me I had preeclampsia, even HELLP syndrome, and would not be leaving the hospital until I had this baby. Umm, I am 27 weeks...I can't have this baby now?! We just found out it is a GIRL a few short weeks ago, and just got done with her room 2 weeks ago! I will never, ever, ever, ever forget as long as I live looking over at Josh who was sitting in a chair beside my bed and thinking this is not happening. Not to us. So, friends, it is at THAT moment that I "had to do it." What other choice did I have?! None, unfortunately.
The weeks and months to follow, were a roller coaster ride of emotions to say the least. We had good, positive days; we had bad, horrible days. We were by her side as much as physically possible, day in and day out. We would talk to her, hold her, sing to her, change her diaper, bathe her, take her temperature, change her clothes and bedding, put pretty bows in her hair, talk to doctors and nurses on her behalf, I pumped breastmilk for 4 months for her....just sooooo much that I never, ever would have imagined. Only in the end, to lose her. To see life slip from her, into eternity, and hold her while she was taking her last breath. Friends, that was NOT done through my own strength. That was endured because of a supernatural strength only from my faith and hope in Jesus Christ. He held me, loved me, and listened to me when it was hard, so hard. He listened to my grief and sadness about it, and He listened to Josh's anger about it. He would share it with you, too, so I'm not sharing anything we wouldn't with you face to face. I was SO incredibly grief stricken, that I remember not wanting to go on some days. Josh was so incredibly angry because he felt helpless as a father and husband, and couldn't do anything to change it all. The pain was SO great, that I understood with everything in me what God felt when He saw them beat His one and only Son, hang Him on a cross, and watched Him breathe His last breath, just as I had. That love for your child is so great, until I cannot comprehend a parent being willing and able to sacrifice their child's life for so many unthankful, unworthy, horrible, wretched sinners....just like ME. If that doesn't make you feel an URGENT need to have Christ in your everyday life, I don't know what will.
I share all this as "therapy" for me, yes, because I enjoy putting my thoughts on "paper." But I also share it to bring honor and glory to my Lord, Jesus Christ. HE brought me from that dark, gloomy time and changed my selfish heart from what it was before Tori; gave me the opportunity to share Christ & heaven in a real, initmate, up close and personal way with my then 2 year old when otherwise I wouldn't have been able to; restored my marriage from failing and what seemed like doom, giving me a best friend & lover in Josh like I'd never had before; gave me another precious, baby girl that has been the light of my life for the past year; and I'm sure those are just the beginning of what He will do through her life. THOSE things make this time of the year more bearable. I'm not going to lie, and say I haven't or don't sit down and cry sometimes and wonder for a split second 'WHY?' I see all I've had with Scarlet over the past 14 months, and think of what all I missed with Tori. I see babies that are born as early as she was, and yet they thrive and grow, beat the odds, and I think she could have done that, too!
It's tough, I can't say it's not. Losing a child is like nothing I've ever experienced. I've lost friendships I cherished; experienced discord within my church family; endured my parent's divorce; almost had a divorce of my own; moved around throughout my life, leaving friends behind; changed & started new schools; given birth (!!!); and other various "trials." Losing my baby girl tops them all. What does James say about trials, though? "Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything." I want all of these things I mentioned, even losing Tori, to produce perseverance, so that I may be mature and complete, lacking NOTHING! You can only understand that being worth it if you have the power of Christ through the Holy Spirit within you. Because why is that important enough to me to endure these trials? Because it goes on to say in verse 12, "Blessed is the one who perseveres under trial because, having stood the test, that person will receive the crown of life that the Lord has promised to those who love him." THAT'S WHY. He suffered and bled so that I may live. He pardoned my sin so that I could go free. What a Savior!!! THAT definitely makes this time of the year a whole lot easier to endure.
I LOVE Christmas, and think of the song, "the most wonderful time of the year" when I think about it. That is why I call this time of the year, "NOT the most wonderful time of the year." But I hope you've seen through all the detail I shared, for this reason alone, that Christ and my relationship with Him makes it bearable through the "NON most wonderful time of the year." I strongly urge you to know Him so that He can make the difficulties of this life bearable for you, too. And not just bearable, but you can be VICTORIOUS...for we are more than just conquerers with Christ (Rom. 8)! And not just KNOW Him, but love, trust, and walk daily with Him. You can't say you're good friends with and expect someone to be there for you at the drop of a hat in the difficult times that you haven't talked to in 20 years, so how you can expect Christ to be there and help you out when you haven't talked with Him daily for awhile, or much less don't even know Him? No judging, only acceptance, so email me if you want loving guidance on how to have this in your life. You don't have to clean up or be good enough before coming to Him. He wants you just the way you are. It would take away from His glory if you had to straighten up before knowing Him. He can and will take care of you on the inside all on His own! :) By the way, nothing would honor Tori's life more than someone coming to Christ because of it. It would also make this momma happy and add another praise to my book! :) If you do know and have a daily relationship with Him, love Him, thank Him for your husband, children, and many blessings....then go kiss and hug them all real tight!!!!!! :)
Tuesday, February 7, 2012
Birthday Fun & Tubes
It's been over a week since I've posted, and SO much has happened...
My birthday was February 2nd, known to many as Groundhog Day! :) Josh and I (&Scarlet) spent half of the day together (while Savannah was in school), and he took me to my favorite Mexican restaraunt for lunch. I went on about my day thinking I was getting together for dinner with my mother in law and girls, but she had much more up her sleeve. :) She planned a surprise birthday party with several of my girlfriends and we had a girls only party that night!! It was so sweet of them all, and we had so much fun!! When I say I am blessed for all the caring friends I have in my life, I mean it!!! Several birthday wishes were received through cards, emails, texts, & facebook...and I was so thankful for each one. Someone stopping to wish me a happy birthday meant so much. It only takes a little kindness to make someones day! :) I went to the spa the next day and redeemed a gift certificate from my mom for a much needed "ME day." It was very relaxing and I could get used to that every week. Unfortunately, my bank account can't. HA! :) On Saturday morning, we went to a new membership class at the church we are joining. I think a membership class is a great idea for those wanting to join a church body...it was well taught by the Pastor, very informative, and we look forward to finishing up our session this Sunday afternoon. On Saturday night, we had some friends over and spent the evening just eating and talking! It was nice to just have some adult conversation for awhile! :) All in all, it was a great birthday WEEKEND...my last one in my 20's....yikes! :)
Scarlet got her tubes in her ears TODAY....early this morning...so it feels a lot later than 4 pm for me! :) The girls are sitting here playing and Scarlet is very happy!!! She has been miserable off and on for awhile now with ear pain, and now we know why. The ENT said after her surgery that usually when he makes a slit, watery type fluid will drain out. If it's worse than that, there will instead be a substance like Elmer's glue that he will have to suction out. He said hers was much MORE thicker than Elmer's glue and he had to use a larger suction to get it all out!!! Sorry for all the details...but that just shows how much was built up behind her ears and why she had been having fussiness, pulling at her ears, fevers at night sometimes, colds she couldn't get rid of, etc!!! He said she will hear SO much better now, because it had been quite muffled for her with her ears like that! She was quite upset for a couple of hours after the surgery while the anesthesia wore off, but then she slept for THREE hours and woke up very happy! Her nose hasn't been running near as bad, either. I am just amazed at the difference I think we will continue to see, and am thankful we had it done NOW instead of later! I give praise to the Lord for keeping her safe during surgery (anytime they put one to sleep, it can be a little nerve wrecking), allowing us to have the surgery done today rather than waiting any longer, and for the good recovery she already seems to be having!!!
Scarlet is also walking, walking, walking! She has been "wobbly walking" for a few weeks, but can actually get around the house now on her own. If she does get tripped up, she catches herself and starts going again! It's amazing how she seemed to pick it up so quickly. We were discussing how ear infections can cause dizziness, therefore causing your equilibrium to be off, so that may have also had something to do with her not walking as well until lately. Savannah started walking well 2 weeks after her first Birthday, and Scarlet was almost 13 months, so they were real close. Scarlet didn't even have her first cold/ear infection until almost 7 months, but has had several since then. Savannah had a couple of infections by the time Scarlet had her first, but Scarlet got her tubes at 13 months, and Savannah got hers at 15 months. So they were pretty close in that as well. I am so blessed to be the mom to two, wonderful girls here on this earth and sharing in their lives and taking care of them! I told Savannah just yesterday that Jesus gave her to me for a little while to teach her about Him and take care of her, but that she was ultimately His. Thankful for that loan...hoping I can honor Him and do this "parenting thing" the way He would have me to do it, bringing Him honor & glory through it all!
My birthday was February 2nd, known to many as Groundhog Day! :) Josh and I (&Scarlet) spent half of the day together (while Savannah was in school), and he took me to my favorite Mexican restaraunt for lunch. I went on about my day thinking I was getting together for dinner with my mother in law and girls, but she had much more up her sleeve. :) She planned a surprise birthday party with several of my girlfriends and we had a girls only party that night!! It was so sweet of them all, and we had so much fun!! When I say I am blessed for all the caring friends I have in my life, I mean it!!! Several birthday wishes were received through cards, emails, texts, & facebook...and I was so thankful for each one. Someone stopping to wish me a happy birthday meant so much. It only takes a little kindness to make someones day! :) I went to the spa the next day and redeemed a gift certificate from my mom for a much needed "ME day." It was very relaxing and I could get used to that every week. Unfortunately, my bank account can't. HA! :) On Saturday morning, we went to a new membership class at the church we are joining. I think a membership class is a great idea for those wanting to join a church body...it was well taught by the Pastor, very informative, and we look forward to finishing up our session this Sunday afternoon. On Saturday night, we had some friends over and spent the evening just eating and talking! It was nice to just have some adult conversation for awhile! :) All in all, it was a great birthday WEEKEND...my last one in my 20's....yikes! :)
Scarlet got her tubes in her ears TODAY....early this morning...so it feels a lot later than 4 pm for me! :) The girls are sitting here playing and Scarlet is very happy!!! She has been miserable off and on for awhile now with ear pain, and now we know why. The ENT said after her surgery that usually when he makes a slit, watery type fluid will drain out. If it's worse than that, there will instead be a substance like Elmer's glue that he will have to suction out. He said hers was much MORE thicker than Elmer's glue and he had to use a larger suction to get it all out!!! Sorry for all the details...but that just shows how much was built up behind her ears and why she had been having fussiness, pulling at her ears, fevers at night sometimes, colds she couldn't get rid of, etc!!! He said she will hear SO much better now, because it had been quite muffled for her with her ears like that! She was quite upset for a couple of hours after the surgery while the anesthesia wore off, but then she slept for THREE hours and woke up very happy! Her nose hasn't been running near as bad, either. I am just amazed at the difference I think we will continue to see, and am thankful we had it done NOW instead of later! I give praise to the Lord for keeping her safe during surgery (anytime they put one to sleep, it can be a little nerve wrecking), allowing us to have the surgery done today rather than waiting any longer, and for the good recovery she already seems to be having!!!
Scarlet is also walking, walking, walking! She has been "wobbly walking" for a few weeks, but can actually get around the house now on her own. If she does get tripped up, she catches herself and starts going again! It's amazing how she seemed to pick it up so quickly. We were discussing how ear infections can cause dizziness, therefore causing your equilibrium to be off, so that may have also had something to do with her not walking as well until lately. Savannah started walking well 2 weeks after her first Birthday, and Scarlet was almost 13 months, so they were real close. Scarlet didn't even have her first cold/ear infection until almost 7 months, but has had several since then. Savannah had a couple of infections by the time Scarlet had her first, but Scarlet got her tubes at 13 months, and Savannah got hers at 15 months. So they were pretty close in that as well. I am so blessed to be the mom to two, wonderful girls here on this earth and sharing in their lives and taking care of them! I told Savannah just yesterday that Jesus gave her to me for a little while to teach her about Him and take care of her, but that she was ultimately His. Thankful for that loan...hoping I can honor Him and do this "parenting thing" the way He would have me to do it, bringing Him honor & glory through it all!
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