I have been in somewhat of "a funk" (that's the best way I can describe it) off and on lately, and this week being the 4th anniversary of Tori's death is probably a large factor. It's not constant, but when I get in that mindset, Satan really tries to run with it and bring me down!! "Submit yourselves then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you," (James 4:7) is what Josh and I have discussed several times lately!! After all, "If God is for us, who can be against us?" (Romans 8:31) Trying to focus my thoughts on HIM instead of my circumstances!!! That can be difficult to do, but IS possible. "With men this is impossible, but all things are possible with God." (Matt. 19:26)
We found out today that we may have to pay a few thousand dollars out of pocket for a new roof for our house in Huntsville, that we currently have a lease to purchase contract on. We are supposed to close on it no later than January 2013, and I can't wait for that day to get here!!! Being free of this house will be such a relief. God knows that. And us having to pay to put a new roof on a house we will never live in again is not news to Him!!! That is comforting, because otherwise I could stay real frustrated! He's got this, I know that. He cares for the sparrows, and so much more than that for ME (Matt. 6:26). Oh, how he loves me!!
We are trying to be good stewards, pay off things, & live within our means...& hope to take the girls to Disneyworld after all that, something Savannah has been begging for since she was 3 years old. Our plan was to take them spring break of 2013, after we used the equity in our house to pay off things, and then be able to do this for them. It is frustrating to have a roadbump get in your way, though. It's even more frustrating when you're trying so hard, and yet feel like you just can't get ahead..."if it's not one thing, it's another," my flesh says. It would be SO very easy to wallow in this, think poor, pitiful me, & be discouraged. However, I know "God is my refuge and strength, a VERY present help in trouble." (Ps. 46:1) I recently read something along these lines...We don't take advantage of all the power we as Christians have through knowing Him!!! We would live transformed, radical lives if we allowed that power to change us and how we view/handle things!!! I am MORE than a conquerer (Rom 8:37) and want to live like one!!!
I did, however, take out my frustration with our electric hedge trimmers this afternoon, and have a feeling that I am going to be really sore because of it tomorrow. I was SO incredibly frustrated, thinking and talking to God, and thinking some more. I just needed to do something productive. I got home and it was a beautiful afternoon, until I just HAD to be outside for a little while. So, yep, I went to town on the hedges on the side of our house! It was quite therapeutic, let me tell you! :) I've always heard people say that gardening has that affect on you. Well, I don't know about that, but I DO know that taking care of business with some heavy duty hedge trimmers on bushes that haven't been trimmed most all winter, was the best de-stresser I've had in a long time! :)
I analyze things a lot (something Josh has learned to love me through-ha!), and so I thought about how God has to sometimes use "electric, heavy duty, hedge trimmers" on my heart & attitude sometimes. I speak before I think sometimes. I act before I think, too. I can be self centered, not considering others (or even God) first. He has to remind me of these things sometimes, and (lovingly) corrects me when I'm stubborn and just can't get it right. My, at the patience He has!! I am so thankful that He is always several steps ahead of me & I don't have to rely on myself to make it through this life; actually He's already walked the whole way, but just stays with me, holding my hand, waiting patiently on me, while picking me up as I stumble and fall. He is truly all knowing and all powerful!
I don't think I will think the same of electric hedge trimmers anymore. :) I know that this obstacle with our house is just another "fire testing faith method!" He recently provided in our car situation, causing us not to have to pay anything out of pocket, and I know He will provide for this (AND all of our other needs), too. Do you have that hope & assurance? I sure hope so. It is life changing!!
No comments:
Post a Comment