So many of you saw the picture of Savannah with the stroller and baby shoes last week on Facebook, and I shared that we were finally getting foster children. Well, as is the life of foster care, it is a roller coaster. Both in what happens and emotionally. We were supposed to get them this week, so we got all prepared, and then it changed like it often times can. We now wait to see if we get them on the 31st.
I have mixed emotions and a heavy heart as we wait to hear. God is definitely trying to teach me to better wait on Him and trust His plan COMPLETELY. No ifs, ands, or buts. It's not a coincidence that His plans for my (our) life, and trusting that He is in control, has been weighing heavy on my mind lately.
I have seen over the past week how we can have one thing planned in our mind, and then it changes on a dime. I have seen that happen before in instances like Tori's life and death, so it's really nothing new to me. I just think I need a reminder (often) that my ways are not His ways, and my thoughts are not His thoughts. Is that easy to live out?! Absolutely not! The momma in me has wanted to go pick up these kids this week, hug them, rock and sing to them, read them stories, tell them they're special, and overall give them a safe home as we share Jesus' love with them. When that didn't go as "planned," it was a rough couple of days to be honest. I HAVE to trust that God is in control, though, and that He does indeed want to work things together for His glory and my (our/their) good.
I KNOW beyond a shadow of a doubt that God has given us a heart for children and called us to this ministry. We so desperately desire to live out James 1:27, however He sees fit for us to do that. We are willing to love and take care of children whether it's for 2 minutes, 2 weeks, 2 years, or their lifetime. At this point, just when I think I see the plan, I once again have to rest in the fact that HE sees the bigger picture, because I CAN'T. Lord, increase my faith!!!
I will tell you why we signed up for foster care. We signed up knowing that reconciliation with the parents is the end goal. We want to see lives changed, and not just because someone is drug free or whatever their vice is, but we want to see lives and families changed by Jesus Christ. If a parent is not going to choose that, though, we want to be that safe place and love these children like they need to be loved. I am hoping for their sake we get to be that safe place for these precious children on the 31st. So please pray for this situation and that God will work everything according to His will, that He will be glorified, and our hearts will be prepared in a supernatural way, no matter the outcome. Even though we won't be able to share details, I will let you know if we get them on the 31st. I appreciate those who have messaged or texted me that you are praying and have been thinking of us. You get to see through us and others how hard the road of foster care can be, but don't let that discourage you if you've ever felt the Lord tugging at your heart to foster/adopt like He has ours. I know it will be so rewarding in the end, and our family will grow and be changed by it, quite possibly more than the children we are able to love and take care of. THAT is what keeps us going as we wait upon the Lord.
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